Well that’s a wrap on Season Seven! It’s had its share of criticism, much of it perfectly warranted. I still enjoyed watching it, so I’ve taken to ignoring the critics. The fact of the matter is that the show’s writers have never been as good as George R. R. Martin, so when they deviate from his books there’s a noticeable drop in quality. I’m okay with that because I still enjoy the show. It’s the only show on TV that produces such an adrenaline rush that I have trouble sleeping afterwards. Anyway, final Power Rankings:
1. The White Walkers (Last Week, #1)
Here we are. Since the very first scene of the show, it’s been inevitable that the Walkers would breach the Wall. We knew it, Jon Snow knew it. What happens next is anyone’s guess.
2. House Lannister (Last Week, #6)
This will surprise some people, but hear me out. Cersei wants to rule. Waiting back to see what emerges from the battle against the Walkers is her smartest play to achieve that end. She’s right in that either the Walkers win, and there’s no hope anyway, or they lose and she fights a weakened Stark/Targaryen alliance. It’s cynical at best, but it’s also her only shot.
3. House Targaryen (Last Week #2)
Can Daenerys and Jon make it to Winterfell before being set upon by the Army of the Dead? That’s the big question, the implications of their romance are entirely secondary.
4. House Stark (Last Week, #3)
In an alternate universe, Jon comes home to a giggling Bran, high on weirwood juice, telling him, “dude, you just hooked up with your aunt.” That being said, the Starks are sitting ducks right now unless their allies can get to Winterfell like yesterday.
5. House Greyjoy (Last Week, #7)
Wouldn’t it be hilarious if Cersei was totally wrong and Euron really did peace out back to the Iron Islands? Sure it would make the Theon subplot even more pointless, but it would be funny.
6. The Hound (Last Week, #5)
No Clegane-Bowl yet. Aw man. But the Hound did let his brother know it was coming, I think.
7. House Arryn (Last Week, NR)
The true Lords of the Vale get back on the rankings this week for one reason. Littlefinger’s time had come, he was more of an annoyance at this point than a genuine threat. The Lords of the Vale should even have no problem convincing sickly Lord Robin of this fact, with the murdering of both his parents and all.
8. The Night’s Watch (Last Week, #8)
YOU HAD ONE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also receiving votes: the Dothraki, House Baratheon, House Reed, House Mormont, Ser Pounce, illicit love, Tyrion thinking, “Ugh, more incest,” Bron and Pod having a beer, and hoping GRRM finishes at least one book before next season.
(C) 2017 D.G. McCabe